| A lot of men drive themselves crazy trying to figure | | | | aggressive or loud men are often more insecure than |
| out what attracts women. There's reason it's so | | | | any thing else and that doesn't appeal to women. |
| frustrating - women often don't know themselves | | | | A study I mentioned sheds some light on this. |
| what they really attracts them. That's part of why | | | | Researchers hired groups of male and female actors. |
| surveys polling women about what they want in a | | | | Half of the men and half the women were selected |
| man are so unhelpful. It's not that women are trying | | | | for their conventional good looks. In Hollywood |
| to be deceiving. They answer truthfully according to | | | | terms, they would be the leading actors. The other |
| what they think attracts them, but often they're | | | | half of each group were selected because they |
| unaware of what really attract them | | | | were, well, not ugly exactly. Let's just say they were |
| Making things even more difficult for men is the fact | | | | character actors. |
| that gender roles have become so unclear these | | | | Then they dressed the actors and photographed |
| days. It's difficult for men to find their appropriate | | | | them twice. In one photograph, the actor, male or |
| way of being in the world, especially for men who | | | | female, was dressed in formal business attire, |
| have grown up without effective masculine role | | | | implying success and power. In another photograph, |
| models in their life. | | | | the same actors were dressed in something that |
| To unravel what attracts woman you need to look | | | | looked like it might be the uniform for a fast food |
| for objective facts. Sociologists do this, and some of | | | | place. |
| their findings are quite interesting. I'll tell you about | | | | The experiment was this. They showed the |
| one study in a moment | | | | photographs to groups of male and female college |
| You can also do a little of your own research just by | | | | students. Some students saw a given actor in dressy |
| going the magazine section of a major bookstore and | | | | clothes while others saw the same actor in the fast |
| looking at the magazines in the woman's interest | | | | food uniform. While they were looking at each |
| section. Putting out a magazine is an expensive | | | | picture, the researchers asked the students |
| proposition and more fail than make it. They survive | | | | questions about each person they were looking at, |
| on the advertising spending of people who offer | | | | including things like how likely they might be to go on |
| products related to the topic of the magazine to its | | | | a date with that person or how likely they might be |
| readers. If a magazine has been around for a while, | | | | to get involved in a serious relationship. |
| that means it has readers and they spend money. | | | | Most people can guess the results for men. If you're |
| Women make most of the spending decisions in this | | | | a good looking woman, it doesn't matter what you |
| country, so magazine publishers are eager to produce | | | | wear or how much power you have or don't have. |
| magazines on subjects of interest to women. | | | | Men will want to go out with you. |
| Despite the dramatic increase in the number of | | | | For women, it was overwhelmingly the power |
| career oriented woman today, the vast majority of | | | | clothes that won, regardless of the man's own |
| magazines targeting women have to do with home, | | | | appearance. |
| family and fashion. As old fashioned as it sounds and | | | | The good news in this for guys is that you don't |
| as loudly as some women would deny it, if that | | | | have to be born handsome to attract a woman. |
| wasn't the truth about women's interest, the | | | | However, this is also not to say that women are |
| magazines wouldn't exist. Instead, there would be | | | | materialistic or that a guy needs to be rich to attract |
| women-oriented business magazines or whatever | | | | a woman (but let's be real - it doesn't hurt). |
| filling the shelves. In this case, the market reveals | | | | I think it does give some hints on what works, and |
| reality. | | | | this isn't anything you fake. It needs to be real. |
| Now this doesn't automatically mean women have | | | | Women are very much attracted to a man who is |
| marriage continually on their mind (although the | | | | self-assured and confident and comfortable with who |
| commitment thing does become an issue for a lot of | | | | they are. They sense that as power and security - |
| women, but that's another subject). It does mean | | | | something they can trust. Truly powerful men don't |
| that women do respond to some traditional masculine | | | | have to bully people or show off to try to impress |
| traits. | | | | someone. |
| In particular, women are attracted to men they | | | | Women are also attracted to competence. I heard a |
| perceive as powerful or leaders. It's a biological | | | | line in a movie once that was a good bit of advice |
| hold-over from ancient times where mating with the | | | | for the real world. An experienced "player" was giving |
| strongest was likely to yield the strongest child, as | | | | advice to a younger guy who was having trouble |
| well as offer some protection to the woman in a | | | | with women. He said "Let her catch you doing |
| physically dangerous world. | | | | something excellent, and if you're not excellent at |
| Of course relationships are vastly more complicated | | | | something then you have bigger problems than I can |
| today and many factors influence them. But the | | | | help you with." |
| biological drives are still there. | | | | It is possible to develop this inner confidence and |
| This doesn't mean a man needs to be aggressive or | | | | sense of self even if you don't have it right now, and |
| obnoxiously assertive. In fact, that behavior is a turn | | | | it's well worth doing for reasons beyond attracting |
| off. In today's world, quiet confidence and self | | | | women. Every aspect of you life will improve. |
| assurance speak more loudly that bragging. Overly | | | | |