| Single women - when they hit a certain age and are | | | | Society tells us that marriage is the foundation of a |
| still unmarried, an alarm goes off. Well-meaning family | | | | stable, happy life. But we know it's not the only one. |
| and friends stop hinting and teasing and start asking | | | | People are proving every day that there are many |
| outright what the problem is. And how you're going | | | | ways to be happy and fulfilled in your life. And in a |
| to solve it. There's some heavy hinting that this is | | | | way, compared to the stifling 1950s when people felt |
| nothing more than a failure to grow up or to get | | | | like freaks if they didn't live and look just like |
| your act together. And there's some straight talk | | | | everyone else, it's a joy to live in an era that allows |
| about how "Mr. Rights" are created, not found. | | | | more freedom and honors a variety of choices. Don't |
| The pressure is crazy. And that plus a single woman's | | | | ever feel like you're nobody unless you're married. |
| own loneliness and fear of not ever having that | | | | Many people who are unhappily married would give |
| perfect husband and family is enough to cause many | | | | everything to be in your shoes. |
| women to jump into quick marriages with Mr. Wrong. | | | | 5. Going for the Gold |
| Here are the warning signs that you may be getting | | | | There's a saying: If you marry for money, you'll earn |
| too desperate. | | | | it. Meaning, if you marry to get riches and security, |
| 1. Setting Deadlines | | | | you yourself will pay and pay for the priviledge. |
| If you've created timetables for how your life should | | | | Because you'll have to live a lie. Money may buy you |
| pan out, then listen to this. Weirdly, research shows | | | | nice clothes and cars and jewelry, but if you don't |
| women are just as afraid of commitment as men, so | | | | love the provider, it will never buy you love and |
| if you start setting deadlines, it could just be a way | | | | happiness. Real security in a marriage does not come |
| of trying to force yourself to do something you don't | | | | from money, but from the genuine love that you |
| really want to do. If you have an enjoyable career, a | | | | share with someone. |
| close group of friends, and a sense of family, do you | | | | The Right Way to Look for Love |
| really need a man to make you whole at this point in | | | | Keep an open mind and heart. Don't beat yourself up |
| your life? Many women who've lived the panic and | | | | over not being married yet. Now is the time to let |
| come through it say "no." | | | | fate take over. Or, if you're religious, to "give it to |
| 2. Wishing for a Fairytale | | | | God." |
| Do you think of marriage as the ultimate fix for | | | | If you are currently dating and tempted to pressure |
| everything you don't like about your life? It's very | | | | your boyfriend to marry, be aware and sensitive |
| easy to fantasize that finding a man will solve all your | | | | about his feelings. No man wants to be nagged or |
| problems and give you everything you want. But, if | | | | pressured. |
| you look around at your married friends, you'll see | | | | If the man of your dreams has not arrived yet, stop |
| pretty quickly that you don't lose all your problems - | | | | obsessing and focus on building a fulfilling life so you |
| they just change into other marriage-related | | | | can be OK until he arrives or even if he doesn't. Not |
| problems. This is not a criticism of marriage; just a | | | | obsessing will really help bring him into your life. Like |
| criticism of silly fantasies. | | | | women trying to get pregnant, women trying too |
| 3. Obsessing Over Your Biological Clock | | | | hard to meet someone defeat their purpose by |
| Is your body telling you it really wants a baby? That's | | | | stressing themselves out to the point that their |
| a natural urge, especially for women. And it's also | | | | bodies and spirits can't work correctly. |
| reasonable to feel sad if you feel like your chance is | | | | Men can sense your desperation and be scared off |
| slipping away. But rushing to marry in order to have a | | | | by it. Plus, it's just such a horrible way to live, feeling |
| family may only hurt you, your spouse and your | | | | like if you don't get what you want NOW, you'll lose |
| children. There are plenty of women who choose to | | | | your mind. If you can instead achieve a peaceful |
| have a baby on their own. In this day and age you | | | | state of mind - through meditation and just building |
| do not need a man to have a child and having no | | | | an interesting life for yourself - you will be someone |
| man is better than getting saddled with the wrong | | | | who attracts all sorts of people - and quite possibly |
| man. | | | | that man you always knew was out there |
| 4. Believing in "the Mold" | | | | somewhere. |