| You just walked into your favorite restaurant for | | | | The other person tells you they are engaged or |
| lunch. You love the food but right now you have | | | | seriously involved with someone else. So what are |
| something else on your mind. You are expecting | | | | they doing there sitting next to you putting out |
| someone else to join you and here they are. Both of | | | | feelers? Curb your emotions for a minute and think. |
| you greet each other warmly. From the first time | | | | Can you really trust someone who says they are in a |
| you met on the job, there has been some intense | | | | committed relationship but is out looking for some |
| attraction between the two of you. | | | | action? |
| You want to build on the emotions you are feeling | | | | 3. Wait |
| and so does the other person; sort of. Why sort of? | | | | You both agree to pursue this further except that |
| For the simple reason, they are already involved in a | | | | the other person cannot quite end their other |
| relationship with someone other than you. | | | | relationship now. You give them the cornball line that, |
| This is nothing new. No doubt you have heard all | | | | "you are willing to wait as long as it takes." The |
| those songs about falling in love with another | | | | reality is nobody has that kind of time. Sure the two |
| person's wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or | | | | of you may get closer and more intimate but you |
| whatever. The reality is it happens everyday and in | | | | are still the third wheel. As long as the other person |
| most instances, like yours, both parties go into it with | | | | remains in their relationship, you are sharing them. No |
| their eyes wide open. | | | | matter how you feel now, this can get old very |
| Again they tell you they are involved with another | | | | quickly. |
| person. You hear and understand but you still hold | | | | 4. The Explosion |
| out hope that something will change the situation. | | | | It's bad enough sneaking around but now it gets |
| You tell the other person, that they must feel the | | | | back to the other person. No they are not going to |
| same way; otherwise they would not be here. | | | | do the "proper" thing and bow out gracefully. In fact |
| All of this maybe true but the best thing the both of | | | | they are ready to fight so as to keep the other |
| you can is end it right here and now. You maybe the | | | | person in the relationship but more importantly not to |
| nicest person on the continent but in essence what | | | | be made a fool of. Hurt pride is a powerful motivator. |
| you are doing is trying your best to break up a | | | | Are you willing to escalate the situation? Besides you |
| relationship just to satisfy yourself. | | | | really do not know what side of the fence the |
| 1. What if it was you? | | | | object of your affection will choose to stand on. You |
| It seems when people get involved in these | | | | may wind up winning the battle and losing the war in |
| situations they never stop to think what if the shoe | | | | a big way. |
| was on the other foot. Let's say you are successful | | | | It is in your best interest to avoid getting involved |
| in breaking up their relationship and having the other | | | | with someone who is already in a committed |
| person all to yourself. Fine but now they meet | | | | relationship. There are plenty of people within your |
| someone else who attracts them even more than | | | | world who are unattached and looking to see if they |
| you do. What then? You wind up in the same | | | | can generate some chemistry with you. Maybe yes, |
| position as the first person. Karma can be quite nasty | | | | maybe no. But involving yourself with someone who |
| so if you do not want to be on the receiving end | | | | is already involved can take a major toll on everyone |
| than it is best to let it go | | | | concerned especially you. The victory in most |
| 2. Trust | | | | instances is not worth the price. |