| "Can't you do anything right" You've heard that in | | | | essence they have for all intent and purposes taken |
| some form or another more than once from your | | | | control of the relationship. |
| significant other. Whether it's going out on a date, | | | | Yet it is important to keep in mind that arguably |
| doing a simple household chore or a non serious | | | | none of this would have been possible if it didn't |
| conversation you seem to always be on the | | | | receive your cooperation. If a dating relationship is |
| defensive with the other person. That kind of | | | | going to grow than it is crucial that both parties love |
| constant bombardment can set your nerves on edge | | | | or at least respect each other. Verbal abuse is |
| and get you to start doubting yourself. | | | | neither. It's emotional, physical and mental control |
| And your significant other knows it. They have seen | | | | disguised as caring. It benefits no one except the |
| your strengths and weaknesses and kept mental | | | | person who is practicing it but it also requires a |
| notes as so they know exactly which buttons to | | | | certain amount of acceptance from the receiving |
| push and when. | | | | party. |
| Then they take it to a new level. They not only | | | | The problem is in the short and long run it is |
| berate you when they are with friends and families | | | | absolutely corrosive to a dating relationship. They |
| but every now and then they humiliate you in public. | | | | miss the joy of having someone that cares about |
| You didn't do this that or the other thing so now | | | | them contribute equally to make the relationship |
| you've ruined the occasion. When the two of you | | | | better. They also lose out on the uniqueness that is |
| get home they really unload on you. | | | | you. What you have no one else can bring to the |
| Just about now there should be some righteous | | | | table. By trying to exercise total control over you, |
| outrage on your part. Instead you internalize | | | | they are in essence trying to make you into exactly |
| everything they have said. Maybe they are right and | | | | what they want you to be. That is blatant disrespect. |
| it is all your fault. You were supposed to take care | | | | Unfortunately it becomes a vicious circle. You can |
| of the situation. Did you do it right or not enough or | | | | never be one hundred percent what they want you |
| too much? Once your significant other sees that | | | | to be. They know it and deep down you know it so |
| doubt is in the air then they step up the attack. The | | | | they heap more verbal abuse on you with the clear |
| next phase is about turning those doubts into cold | | | | understanding that it will always be this way. |
| hard reality. The verbal abuse now comes fast and | | | | Some people like to argue. That's a part of who they |
| furious. Anything that happens no matter how trivial | | | | are but when they become verbally abusive in a |
| or insignificant becomes an excuse to make you feel | | | | dating relationship then you have to take a stand. |
| worse than you do and also set in stone that from | | | | Either they tone it down and work on their behavior |
| now on all the blame falls squarely on your shoulders. | | | | or they will have to find someone else to try and |
| But there is something more sinister afoot. In | | | | control. |