| As a Dating Coach, clients ask me all sorts of | | | | on your perspective. Whatever you focus on |
| questions. But one of the most frequent is a concern | | | | becomes your reality. I often quote this Universal |
| about the shortage of men. | | | | principle from Hawaiian Shamanism: "Energy Goes |
| One client, Charlotte told me that everywhere she's | | | | Where Attention Flows." |
| lived, people tell her there are no available men. For | | | | The question is - Do you want your focus to be |
| example, when she moved to Oregon at 32 for | | | | "There are no men"? I think not. |
| graduate school, local women announced there were | | | | Good men exist all around - and PS, you only need |
| no single men in town. Then she moved to Seattle | | | | one right? The Universe is an amazingly abundant |
| two years later and was told it's a couples place and | | | | place so heighten your awareness of the abundant |
| the locals aren't friendly. | | | | aspects by trying one of these exercises: |
| Later Charlotte moved to New York City where the | | | | - Count the leaves on any tree (or pine needles |
| problems of single women are legendary, followed by | | | | during the winter) |
| a move to Connecticut, a state filled with families and | | | | - Count the stars in the night sky |
| married folks. Next she moved to Spain to discover | | | | - Count the grains of sand on the beach |
| that her Spanish teacher and friends lament the | | | | - Count the blades of grass in your lawn or the park |
| shortage of men. | | | | None of these things can really be counted and |
| Charlotte wanted to know how to deal with hearing | | | | although each option does have an actual finite |
| that there are no men, wherever she is living and | | | | number -who can get there? That's the whole point. |
| made it clear that she had no intention of moving to | | | | There are more available men than you can count, |
| Alaska (all those men working on the oil pipeline). She | | | | regardless of your location. |
| also mentioned how curious it is that she has never | | | | Here's the real challenge - how to start looking for |
| once lived in a place where people said, "Boy, are you | | | | evidence to prove there IS AN ABUNDANCE. This |
| lucky! This place is crawling with great, available guys!" | | | | requires shifting your perspective and preventing |
| I hear you Charlotte - loud and clear! And I | | | | yourself from falling back on old habits, noticing LACK. |
| appreciate your frustration, but I don't agree with | | | | Chances are very strong that you'll start to notice |
| this concept or believe there is a shortage. | | | | men that you never would have even seen before. |
| Think about other statements that people have | | | | That's because a person's mind will be open to collect |
| made throughout history which were not true: | | | | new data using this perspective. And as Martha |
| - Everyone said the earth was flat | | | | Stewart says, "That's a good thing." |
| - Everyone said the Emperor's new clothes were fine | | | | I hope this perspective has opened your mind (and |
| - Everyone said sky lab would fall on our heads | | | | Charlotte's) and inspired you to start noticing the |
| - Everyone said the computers would go wacky for | | | | great men that are all around every day. One woman |
| Y2K | | | | I know met her husband in WalMart - she was |
| Did any of these things happen? Were any of these | | | | walking in and he was walking out. Another met her |
| things actually true? | | | | husband in the dog park where they both walked |
| No, No, No! | | | | their dogs. Still another met her long-term partner |
| In 1987, Newsweek ran an article that claimed a | | | | buying sheets in Bed, Bath, & Beyond. These |
| single woman 35+ had a better chance of getting | | | | bits of romantic kismet happen every day, |
| abducted by terrorists than to get married. I think | | | | everywhere. What will you do make yourself |
| you know which one happened to me. | | | | available and cross paths with your soul mate? |
| I suggest that Charlotte and all other single women | | | | I tell my over 40 dating coaching clients to get out |
| ignore what people say. "They" (whoever they are) | | | | there, smile, be friendly, be grateful and aware of the |
| don't seem to have a very accurate track record | | | | great catch you are, and enjoy the wonderful life |
| with these type of far-reaching statements. | | | | you have. This will make you highly attractive, get |
| Instead, take a moment to remember a very | | | | you out there, and help you cross paths with |
| important philosophical question: Is the glass half full | | | | prospects to sort and find the right man. I did it, and |
| or half empty? Truth be told, either way it's the | | | | that's why I know you can too. |
| same amount of liquid. The difference is based solely | | | | |