| Think about dating as a sport, an opportunity to | | | | Tell me about your favorite movie (or book) of all |
| have fun and get to know different people. While | | | | time and what makes you choose that one? |
| you may have an "end goal" in mind, to find someone | | | | Getting to know about someone's family can also be |
| special with whom to develop an intimate, loving and | | | | a good indicator of his or her ability to be a healthy |
| eventually permanent relationship, think of this is an | | | | part of a relationship. This does NOT mean, of |
| opportunity to meet different people and have | | | | course, that someone who grew up in a difficult or |
| different experiences. | | | | abusive family cannot or has not learned how to |
| In dating, some people think that they need to do a | | | | relate effectively. It may, however, help you |
| "sales job" to convince the other person that they | | | | evaluate whether or not to take the relationship past |
| are interesting, attractive and a good catch. In reality, | | | | the introductory phase. (And for those of you with |
| dating should not about finding someone who likes | | | | "rescuer" tattooed on your forehead, please examine |
| you nearly as much as it should be about finding | | | | this aspect carefully.) |
| someone who is a good fit for YOU. This involves | | | | When you are just getting to know someone, you |
| sharing about yourself but it also means finding out | | | | must be respectful of their desire to talk, or not to |
| about the other person. | | | | talk, about private or personal matters. Choosing to |
| Your main goal at the beginning stage of any | | | | wait before opening up can be a good sign about |
| relationship is to find out if you have enough in | | | | respecting boundaries so keep the questions light and |
| common to explore a friendship with the possibility of | | | | playful and be sure to share some of the same |
| deepening the relationship. You also want to have | | | | information about yourself. |
| some idea of whether or not this person is someone | | | | Tell me about your family. |
| that you can trust and with whom you want to | | | | Who are you closest to in your family? |
| spend your valuable time. | | | | What are some of your favorite memories as a |
| When you are just getting to know someone, it's | | | | child? |
| flattering to ask them a lot about themselves. Most | | | | How did you celebrate holidays? |
| people love to talk about themselves so, don't pound | | | | What did you do for vacations? |
| them with questions but feel free to ask away as | | | | What would your parents say was the most daring |
| you get to know them. | | | | thing that you did as a child? |
| Certainly, questions are not the only way to get to | | | | What did your family see as your strengths or things |
| know someone. Experiences and activities together | | | | that you did really well? |
| can also give you lots of clues. In this article we just | | | | Was there any special role that you held in your |
| want to give you some ideas of things to talk about | | | | family? Were you the peacemaker, the responsible |
| to start the ball rolling. | | | | one, the high achiever, the one who made everyone |
| Here are some good "getting to know you" | | | | laugh? |
| questions. | | | | Questions to ask yourself |
| What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time? | | | | What is my "gut reaction" or what is my intuition |
| When you have a wide open day in front of you, | | | | telling me about this person? |
| what do you like to do ... schedule lots of different | | | | Are there any caution or red flags floating? If so, are |
| and interesting things or just leave it open and let it | | | | they familiar ones for me in past relationships? |
| evolve? | | | | How well does this person answer my list of the top |
| Tell me about the music that you like and what | | | | 10 characteristics in a healthy relationship? |
| makes you connect to that style and thoseartists. | | | | Have any other thoughts or ideas about this? Please |
| What would your friends say is your best quality? | | | | visit our website and start or enter a discussion on |
| Tell me about your job. What do you like most and | | | | our forum page. We will be checking that page and |
| least about it? | | | | contribute our ideas as well. |
| What makes you laugh? | | | | |