| My dating coach client Ellie met Mark, a really great, | | | | away quicker than you can imagine and you could |
| attractive guy (via Match) and had a wonderful dinner | | | | drive yourself crazy too. |
| date. In fact, she never met a guy like this. Usually | | | | The best thing I could tell Ellie believe it or not is to |
| there isn't much spark, but she does give many guys | | | | distract herself. If she finds herself thinking about him |
| the three date try as I often suggest. But this date | | | | too much, she should read a book, talk to friends, |
| was really special for Ellie including sparks, laughter, | | | | exercise, watch a movie, start a new project, even |
| and smart conversation. | | | | go on a date with someone else. |
| Mark emailed to say that it was one of the best 1st | | | | If dating Mark works out, there's no downside to |
| dates he'd ever had. He asked Ellie to go out again | | | | guarding her heart, and if it doesn't - well then it was |
| next weekend, so things were looking good. But still, | | | | a wise move to not over think things and put all her |
| she just worried that her enthusiasm could appear as | | | | eggs in the "Mark Basket". |
| desperation and she didn't want to scare him off. Ellie | | | | I recommended that Ellie be her happy enjoyable self |
| said, "I'm not desperate, just excited to meet | | | | on their next date, but to avoid gushing or over |
| someone like him." | | | | sharing her hopeful feelings. She can say she's having |
| First I congratulated Ellie on a great first date! Next, I | | | | a great time. She can compliment and praise him, but |
| advised her to take some deep breaths. Of course | | | | not to over do it. As everyone knows, when you |
| she should be excited, but not too much in front of | | | | pour on the compliments and excitement too thick - |
| Mark. That excitement would be better shared with | | | | it can backfire and repel a man (or a woman). And |
| her girlfriends. | | | | even worse, it can come across as INSINCERE! |
| While I didn't want to rain on her parade, but it's so | | | | Nothing is more fun or tougher than the beginning of |
| important to keep things in perspective. Yes, Ellie had | | | | a new relationship. The prospect of finding a good |
| a great date, but it's only one so far, even if it does | | | | partner can build and make you feel like you could |
| look promising. Only time will tell. She has a lot more | | | | just burst with excitement. Ellie needs to keep her |
| "data gathering" to do. That's the whole point of | | | | enthusiasm in check because Mark still has a lot of |
| dating - to observe a man's behavior and how he | | | | proving to do before she knows for sure that he is |
| approaches winning you over. | | | | "the one". The best thing she can do is take things |
| This is the exact reason why I frequently | | | | slowly, distract herself and date other men to make |
| recommend dating more than one guy at a time - so | | | | sure she doesn't push him away by being overly |
| you don't over focus on any one guy during the | | | | enthusiastic. |
| beginning phase of dating. That can scare a man | | | | |