| The Situation | | | | now that we are together, I can tend to forget that |
| Paul and I went to Home Depot Sunday to pick up a | | | | I need to leave room for my husband to be the man. |
| number of items. The biggest one on the list was the | | | | What is My Priority? |
| filter for our under-the-sink water filtration system. | | | | Being in charge at Home Depot? Is that really my top |
| We walk in, I see a couple of employees and I ask | | | | priority? It better not be if I want my man to stick |
| where the water filter replacement parts are. The | | | | around. Why couldn't I have let him take over, step |
| guy walks us over to where they are displayed. | | | | up and be in charge of the water filter? My nature is |
| | | | to step up and take charge, but it sure doesn't suit |
| The Fax Paux | | | | his nature - at Home Depot. There are other |
| Had I been using my feminine brain instead of my | | | | situations where my nature is perfectly acceptable |
| masculine chick-in-charge brain, I would have realized | | | | and he'd be fine with me being in the driver's seat. |
| the best course of action was to step back and let | | | | But not in the man's world of home building supplies. |
| my husband take over. No such luck - I forged ahead | | | | Once the event was over, I took a step back to |
| discussing options with the guy. My husband started | | | | understand his perspective. I get it now. Of course it |
| fuming - it took me while to catch on. Oh oh. | | | | would have been better if I had gotten it then, in the |
| Emasculation is Not Pretty | | | | moment, before I made him feel small and foolish. |
| Since the Home Depot guy was interacting with me - | | | | Before I pounced on his easily wounded male ego |
| he was ignoring my husband. And that makes sense | | | | and pride. |
| since I was obviously the person in charge - not such | | | | Yielding the Right of Way |
| a good thing when your husband is standing right | | | | Allowing Paul to be the driver of Home Depot |
| there. As a woman, in a man's world, taking charge | | | | activities, is this really a big concession? No. Mostly he |
| makes your man feel superfluous and unnecessary. | | | | goes on his own which in hindsight is clearly a better |
| Anyone want to volunteer to feel unnecessary? It's | | | | option. I love my husband and to keep a marriage |
| not a good feeling and it's really not pretty for a | | | | happy requires a series of compromises and |
| man. | | | | adjustments. Giving way at Home Depot is a rather |
| My Nature and Family History | | | | small concession in the scheme of things. After all, its |
| I am a chick-in-charge. Getting to 40 and being on | | | | tiring to be in charge of everything. I'd prefer to split |
| my own, I had to be a chick-in-charge. It was a job | | | | the duties. What was I thinking? |
| requirement too because I worked in a very | | | | After we made our purchases, I suggested we cross |
| competitive field - marketing at a top consumer | | | | the street for a hamburger and french fries. He loves |
| packaged foods company. And in all honestly, I come | | | | burgers and fries. But, I'm the decision maker |
| from a driver family where we are a bit bossy, | | | | regarding most meals so he doesn't get that often in |
| speak up for ourselves and get our point heard if | | | | my quest to eat healthy. |
| you catch my drift. | | | | It may be an old tired saying, but you can catch |
| Fast Forward to Today | | | | more flies with honey. I'm not really trying to catch |
| Today I've been married for nine years (it's so hard | | | | flies, but I do want my husband to know that he is |
| to believe.) Having dated 30 men in 15 months to | | | | loved and very needed. He started smiling again when |
| meet and marry my husband, I was more in tune | | | | he saw how many fries were in the bag. |
| with this during my dating frenzy. But in marriage, | | | | |