| | | | | to them. A course of action that is not fully the |
| 7. Perceived Unanswered Prayers | | | | desire of the heart takes them away from their |
| | | | | destiny. This occurs because the person who is |
| “Hear me when I call, O God of my | | | | advising them firstly does not understand their |
| righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; | | | | destiny. Secondly, the adviser does not desire the |
| Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.” | | | | best for the person they are advising or thirdly the |
| Psalm 4:1 | | | | adviser has a vested interest in the single not |
| It can be very discouraging when a single person | | | | pursuing the relationship. And finally, perhaps more |
| has been a Christian for sometime. Especially when | | | | dangerously, when the advice comes out of a heart |
| they have served faithfully in their local Church, | | | | of concern and is sincere but sincerely wrong |
| sowed seeds of breakthrough and prayed on the | | | | 9. Fear of the Unknown |
| issue of singleness for many years with seemingly no | | | | The acronym of FEAR can be translated into |
| results. Many singles have expressed the pain of | | | | meaning False Evidence Appearing Real. It is said by |
| wondering whether God has forsaken them or is | | | | researchers that 90% of what we worry about |
| deaf to their hearts cry for a need of a marital | | | | never actually happens. This being the case, many of |
| partner. Whilst this may appear to be the case for | | | | us have lost countless hours to expending nervous |
| the single person, it is not the truth because the Bible | | | | energy on something that was never going to |
| clearly states that He will never leave us or forsake | | | | happen. In other words, precious time has been |
| us. This period of waiting can be very painful. The | | | | wasted being fearful about issues, which were |
| perceived unanswered prayer may cause the single | | | | outside of our control or were not going to happen. |
| person to do something outside the will of God (for | | | | Fear of: not finding a partner, failing in a relationship, |
| example, to go out with a unbeliever) in order to | | | | not being a perfect wife or husband, intimacy, getting |
| alleviate the pain and avoid what they consider to be | | | | older, rejection are some of the issues that grip the |
| unnecessary delay. They can enter into scenarios in | | | | single person. |
| an attempt to answer their prayers or alleviate the | | | | |
| painful period of waiting. God may allow this even | | | | “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but |
| though it is not His perfect will, for He has given | | | | of power and of love and of a sound mind.” |
| everyone the power of choice. | | | | 2 Timothy 1:7 |
| 8. Following Wrong Advice | | | | When single people are in pain over their single |
| When singles decide to live their lives purely on | | | | state, they have a choice to either remain in the |
| what family and friends tell them, what they read in | | | | despair of the negative issues that singles experience |
| magazines, see on television and hear at barber | | | | or turn the pain into a stepping-stone, which causes |
| shops or hairdressers’ salon without balancing it | | | | them to rise above the negative and walk into a |
| with God’s Word; it is possible for them to easily | | | | process of being victorious. |
| follow a course of action, which can be detrimental | | | | |